just another year added

every time we spoke of birthdays, Fateha would always ask if it was hers as well. I told her that it was mine, she shook her head and kept saying it was not. she insisted it was her birthday. so I had to explain that hers was over and it was in January, after Fateena was born (like she even understood), and mine was today which was 4 months after hers. she stared blankly at me.

anyways, I turned 32 already, almost 24 hours ago, Singapore time. this year’s turning of age felt weird because firstly I got 2 presents from husband, of which one was received in February and the other was last week. secondly, due to his shift work, he chose to treat me to dinner 2 weeks ago.

and yesterday,

though it wasn’t really for my birthday, my mother in-law treated us to lunch at 1 Market buffet restaurant by Chef Wan. I was glad that the lunch was brought forward to yesterday, eve of my birthday, because it was initially planned in march and then changed to end of this month before they confirmed for yesterday’s. somehow it felt special.

located at plaza singapura (PS), a place where husband and I used to frequent during our courtship days. and yesterday, we were brought back to this place for the first time after 6 years. yea, that was how long I had not been to PS. because we had other important things to care for aka family.

the food, I must say, was anything but special. I thought they tasted good but just the same as every buffet restaurants I had been too. however, I love the waffles! and I love the fact that we got to meet the owner aka Chef Wan.

I gotta frame this picture and hang it on the living room wall.

a man whose speech was as fast as a bullet train, a number of times when I “catch no ball” of what he was saying. his entrance to the restaurant was very low key. no one actually realised that he was already inside. it was husband who noticed the funny, laser-mouth chef. I counted myself lucky to get to meet him without having so many people crowding around us. you can see from the picture that everyone was just busy with the food on their plates.

I know you might be wondering why Fateha wasn’t in the picture. she was at the table, eating and entertained by her grandfather; my father in-law.  but we managed to get a whole family picture again with Chef Wan before the restaurant closed for cleaning up and dinner spread.

as for today (my actual birth date), husband and I spent the time together in JB.

thanks husband, for the early dinner treat. I realised that this year I got double of everything from you. 2 presents, 2 dinner treats and 2 kids. I wonder what you’re gonna give me next year.

another baby will be in my wish list. that’ll be a nice present for me.

going the milky way

(as I am typing this, I am pumping my engorged twin beauties)

I am super overjoyed because I managed to re-lactate myself and got the milk back on. I get so many tips and advices on how to increase the supply that I get myself a little dizzy and confused. but I truly appreciate them because they are really useful. I even googled for help and all these really did work for me.

so if you wanna know what I have tried (and have not), I will list them down for you in 3 categories.

supplements
1. fenugreek capsules
2. red raspberry leaves capsules
3. Shaklee soy protein
4. mother’s milk lactation tea

food sources
5. oats
6. warm soya bean milk
7. papaya
8. coconut water
9. fish soup
10. round spinach
11. almond
12. milk
13. WATER!!!

non-food sources
14. breasts massage
15. power pump

please add on to this, if you have tried other things and they worked. sharing is caring

there are women who can just pump more than 5 ounce at one go. from one breast! isn’t that awesome and down right enviable? but I cannot deny the fact that there are women who get very little or even not a bit. some are able to go on and on till their child turns 2. I hope I can go that far.

if any of you are like me, needs some sort of a “push” to get the milk going, you can try some of those things I listed up there. I cannot guarantee good supply because results vary from one person to another. but there is no harm trying, right? when I was feeling down due to the decrease, I was almost waving the white flag and thought of giving formula fully.

until I saw CloudMom’s videos in youtube. she is tremendous and wonderful! there are two videos that really help me and keep me going on;  Breastfeeding Moms: Stay Hydrated and Pumping Breast Milk After Each Feeding. go watch ‘em, they’re really good. she has lots of videos about parenting and breastfeeding.

so I started drinking, WATER of course! and I saw myself producing more than before. and of course, all the other things as stated above. yes, I am that kiasu, everything also want! haha. so drink more water, ladies, especially if you are not a drinker, like me.

and to end this post, here is my end product of the pumping.

how can I not be happy?

unlaboured labour day

what does “a day well spent” mean?

in the afternoon, right after my husband went off to work,  us ladies had to stay home to do our stuff. fateha playing with the helper, fateena crying for my attention and my “twins”, and i sat in front of the laptop; trying to finish up my assignment. the problem was, each time i tried focusing on my work, my eyes just got heavier. every time!

and fateena was begging for me to carry and feed her. like a malay saying that went “dah mengantuk lagi disorongkan bantal”, i saved whatever that i had typed (one sentence, that was it), switched off the laptop and nursed the town crier.

it was like Jeannie had nodded her little genie head and my eyes went shut, while my fateena was having a good lunch. i guess i was really sleepy (sleep deprivation, a mother’s crime). i remembered being rudely awaken by a sharp pain from a niplash. boy, she pulled hard! luckily our skin has some form of elasticity. otherwise, i’d be torn apart so viciously by an innocent little baby.

but even that didn’t help to make me stay awake. seeing fateena getting sleepy while still latching onto me, i gently pulled her off and placed her on her tummy on top of me. and yes, you guessed it, we both went to la la land together and woke up together, about 2 hours later.

the day went by in a pretty much slow pace, which i like. because i did nothing at all. yes!!! and by nothing i mean school work and assignment. most of the time i was only sitting, lying on the sofa (and nurse), watching tv and drinking my protein shake.

i would say it IS definitely a day well spent for me.

till the next long day at home.

lactation abduction

much to my horror, something that i foresee before I got back into the working life, my milk supply has gone down. yes, you guys, it is not that much now. i have been pumping, eating good food, together with some supplements. you know…

 

mother’s milk lactation tea, fenugreek, anmum lacta…just to name a few.

it could be the fact that i am being warped with an ultra busy schedule. i only have 2 free periods (which are utilised with paper work); once in the morning and once in the afternoon, right after lunch. during the morning period, i try to finish up whatever work i have for the day and the afternoon one, i will pump diligently with the hopes that i get at least an ounce more. so on a no-night-class days (tuesdays & thursdays), i pump only once since i can be home early and breastfeed directly. on every other day, i doubled the pumping routine. while my lecturer talks, i pump. well…not the whole 3 hours, of course! weekends are exclusively for breastfeeding.

life is hard, for working moms. especially the nursing ones. no need to mention my envy towards stay-at-home moms; it’s over the top. but i also envy moms who have a desk bound job. while they are busy typing or answering the phone calls, they can pump. now, how can i do that at work? i’m a preschool teacher, remember? haha, no no! no pumping in front of the kids. not that i do not want, it will affect the quality of my teaching and care.

but it definitely affects the quality of my nursing and caring for my baby. and this is another factor that leads to our reduction. ASSIGNMENTS! pretty stressful for me and it’s NOT GOOD!!!

i search for many tips and helps from many sources and most of them say to pump consistently. and recently, someone told me to get these…

 

i was told that many other nursing moms who take this see a great increased in their supply. and i am definitely thinking of getting them. i will do anything to get my liquid gold back before it gets totally “abducted” for good.

p/s: anymore helps and tips from you? i sure need them. thanks.

love the spread so spread the love

my aunt made the tastiest garlic spread ever. tried it during our family gathering at aloha resorts and my palate refused other barbecued food that were prepared.

there were chicken wings, beef and chicken satay, prawns, hot dogs, stingrays and slices of french loaves. all barbecued. once i took a bite on a slice of french loaf with the garlic spread, i fell deeply in love! managed to cajole my aunt into unleashing her secret recipe in making the spread. i was glad that she shared.

made a batch (as above) a few days ago but i left it chilled in the fridge. read somewhere that the longer it got chilled, the tastier it would be. and prior to making it, i wrote a list of the items needed before scooting off to johor bahru for our fortnightly marketing.

- garlic
- butter
- italian herbs

so the above spread was made with love. hahah. about 6 tablespoons of softened butter (approximately, i didn’t really measure), 1 clove of garlic, some dashes of italian herbs, a pinch of salt and 2 teaspoons of sugar. yea, i liked it sweet. i smashed the garlic and chopped them into tiny bits before adding them to the butter. and then finally, in went all the other ingredients.

i love the smell of the italian herbs and i guess it made the spread smell wonderfully delicious. well of course, the smell of the garlic was stronger.

just to make it my style, i added half slice of cheese on top of the spread and baked them in the oven toaster for 3 minutes only. the husband had asked for them twice and i was so happy! it only meant that my garlic spread was nice, if not delicious.

leaving the kids

16 weeks go by so fast!

from the small, little baby…

to as chubby as can be.

that is how much she has changed and developed throughout my 16 weeks (80 working days) maternity leave. i will be back at work in 2 days! did i have enough rest? hah, what do you think my answer will be? just like my first maternity leave with Fateha, i am having a hard time preparing myself to be the economy slave. why do mothers have to go through this?

i have a number of stay-at-home-mom friends and i cannot deny how i turn green with envy towards them. they have all the time they can spend with their little ones and see them grow right in front of their eyes. no, you can’t say “but you are helping your husband to earn more income for the family.” because i already know that. what income is more important than a mother get to be by her children’s side 24 hours? money is important, i agree. but i am losing out in one area that matters the most. and it’s crucial.

at work, i see other children developing and progressing well. help them with whatever skill they lack. informing parents that it is important for them to be with their children, giving them more of their attention instead of the ipads and iphones. enjoy the cuddles and hugs that i get from these kids, and cheer for them when they achieve something.

it’s a little contradicting; when i tell my students’ parents to spend more time with their kids, i am actually doing the same thing they do. i leave my kids to the care of our helper (which is not very ideal, to me) so that i earn more money. and with this, i will pay for their education, their medical check ups, doctor visits, buy new clothes, new shoes and go on a holiday.

but i cannot buy back the time i have lost with them. sacrifice, you say? let me ask you. are you willing to sacrifice their love, attention and respect for you just so you can work and earn money? sacrifice the opportunity of watching them grow into the persons you want them to be?

maybe there are parents, especially mothers, who do not mind this but not me. i can’t! being in early childhood line is making it worse! all these sufferings mothers have to go through, i only blame you know who. here in Singapore, almost everyone blames the “G” for what they have to go through. and i cannot agree more.

the only thing that i have been trying (and sometimes dream about) is to encourage my husband to get a much much better paid career so that we do not need to employ a helper and i can stay at home. or… if he gets that job offer his friend referred him to, there is a chance for him to work overseas. which only means that our whole family will fly there, too. i am so hoping and praying it will come true for me, i mean for us.

just for a better future for my kids.

Clutching Crutches

We brought Fateha to the rehab clinic today for an appointment with the Neuro team. Prof James Hui and Prof Stacey Tay were the heads today.

They touched her Erb’s arm, her calves and ankles, and concluded that she was having a nerve problem. Nothing to do with her brain. Alhamdulillah. She had to walk in front us and the team, of about 11 people, with newly brought in crutches from Germany.

We were recommended to get them instead of the quad sticks because the latter would not help her to be in the right posture.

I have never seen her so brave and determined to use the aides. Good job, little girl!

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