unlaboured labour day

what does “a day well spent” mean?

in the afternoon, right after my husband went off to work,  us ladies had to stay home to do our stuff. fateha playing with the helper, fateena crying for my attention and my “twins”, and i sat in front of the laptop; trying to finish up my assignment. the problem was, each time i tried focusing on my work, my eyes just got heavier. every time!

and fateena was begging for me to carry and feed her. like a malay saying that went “dah mengantuk lagi disorongkan bantal”, i saved whatever that i had typed (one sentence, that was it), switched off the laptop and nursed the town crier.

it was like Jeannie had nodded her little genie head and my eyes went shut, while my fateena was having a good lunch. i guess i was really sleepy (sleep deprivation, a mother’s crime). i remembered being rudely awaken by a sharp pain from a niplash. boy, she pulled hard! luckily our skin has some form of elasticity. otherwise, i’d be torn apart so viciously by an innocent little baby.

but even that didn’t help to make me stay awake. seeing fateena getting sleepy while still latching onto me, i gently pulled her off and placed her on her tummy on top of me. and yes, you guessed it, we both went to la la land together and woke up together, about 2 hours later.

the day went by in a pretty much slow pace, which i like. because i did nothing at all. yes!!! and by nothing i mean school work and assignment. most of the time i was only sitting, lying on the sofa (and nurse), watching tv and drinking my protein shake.

i would say it IS definitely a day well spent for me.

till the next long day at home.

leaving the kids

16 weeks go by so fast!

from the small, little baby…

to as chubby as can be.

that is how much she has changed and developed throughout my 16 weeks (80 working days) maternity leave. i will be back at work in 2 days! did i have enough rest? hah, what do you think my answer will be? just like my first maternity leave with Fateha, i am having a hard time preparing myself to be the economy slave. why do mothers have to go through this?

i have a number of stay-at-home-mom friends and i cannot deny how i turn green with envy towards them. they have all the time they can spend with their little ones and see them grow right in front of their eyes. no, you can’t say “but you are helping your husband to earn more income for the family.” because i already know that. what income is more important than a mother get to be by her children’s side 24 hours? money is important, i agree. but i am losing out in one area that matters the most. and it’s crucial.

at work, i see other children developing and progressing well. help them with whatever skill they lack. informing parents that it is important for them to be with their children, giving them more of their attention instead of the ipads and iphones. enjoy the cuddles and hugs that i get from these kids, and cheer for them when they achieve something.

it’s a little contradicting; when i tell my students’ parents to spend more time with their kids, i am actually doing the same thing they do. i leave my kids to the care of our helper (which is not very ideal, to me) so that i earn more money. and with this, i will pay for their education, their medical check ups, doctor visits, buy new clothes, new shoes and go on a holiday.

but i cannot buy back the time i have lost with them. sacrifice, you say? let me ask you. are you willing to sacrifice their love, attention and respect for you just so you can work and earn money? sacrifice the opportunity of watching them grow into the persons you want them to be?

maybe there are parents, especially mothers, who do not mind this but not me. i can’t! being in early childhood line is making it worse! all these sufferings mothers have to go through, i only blame you know who. here in Singapore, almost everyone blames the “G” for what they have to go through. and i cannot agree more.

the only thing that i have been trying (and sometimes dream about) is to encourage my husband to get a much much better paid career so that we do not need to employ a helper and i can stay at home. or… if he gets that job offer his friend referred him to, there is a chance for him to work overseas. which only means that our whole family will fly there, too. i am so hoping and praying it will come true for me, i mean for us.

just for a better future for my kids.

dreadful

i think only a few people knew about when exactly did my helper arrive. get this, it was 1 and a half days before i gave birth to Fateena. yes! isn’t that pathetic? and that is not all.

i gotta admit that she works pretty fast. every dawn, she wakes up (before i did) and cleans the house till it is spick and span. i can, literally, lick my floors. it is THAT clean. i have not seen my reflection on the floor ever so clearly. and i am quite thankful for that. hahah.

HOWEVER…(yes, the dreadful parts are coming)

let me just ramble about things that have never happened before the arrival of Le Maid.

i know that i am NEVER a good cook, though i can. but sometimes, the simplest cooking procedure/technique can be the hardest for one to execute. not me but the helper. taught her many times (even during my confinement period. can you imagine me teaching her this and that, while holding my breath to bear the painful swell of my cervix as i walk?) on how i do things in the kitchen. instead of lessening my pain, she adds on to it.

taught her how to prepare the common dishes that were served in this house. cleaning, washing, cutting and slicing of vegetables, chicken, meat and fish were okay. i didn’t teach her how to cook the rice because she should know. coming from a country that basically having rice as their staple food, i didn’t see why i should explain. and good enough, she knows. cooked the way i always did.

but when it comes to noodles, she didn’t learn it well enough. maybe she wasn’t listening when i was explaining. my husband spoke to her about listening to me. hahah. yes, i AM the boss. she boiled the yellow noodles till they were all too soggy, that even a grandma could eat them without her dentures on. YES! we had to just eat… no choice.

she didn’t break some kitchen tools on purpose. well, i couldn’t really blame her. i haven’t got them replaced for a few years. but what made me vehement was that she never tell me anything; be it she broke something by accident or the tools decided to commit mass suicide while she was using them. till i discovered them myself. HeLLooOOoo!!!

(there are a couple of other things she broke as well. i don’t want to mention them)

she loves the girls. i can see that. she plays with them, especially with Fateha. helping her to walk, pushing Fateha on her tricycle and even get her to do some penmanship activity. but while doing so, she is often very noisy. probably because she has quite a loud voice. heh, i thought i have the loudest voice here. she can sit right in front of us, playing with Fateena, while are watching the news. i tell you, she has the most weirdest, repetitive hums. she can repeat a word for 10 times! and best of all, still in front of us, she hums them LOUDLY.

hubby and i would just look at each other and roll our eyes. i mean, how am i to tell her? “bibik, you’re being too loud! i can’t hear the news! it’s a matter of life and death for Singaporeans!!” sometimes, her voice can cause irritation to my ear drums.

i don’t mean to be mean. wait!! i am never mean to her, i swear. i try to be as human as i can and not treating her like thrash. i allow her to have dinner at the table but she declines and eat in the kitchen; seated on the floor. i allow her to sleep as early as Fateha does. i know some employers only allows their maid to sleep so much later or until all the housework is done. but i am nicer. only that sometimes, i just give her the glare or nag a little. no, i don’t scream at her.

oh before i end this, there is something else that makes my skin crawl. she calls my parents and parents in-law “mama” and “papa”. i hate that! these are the parents of the employer (technically, they are employers too, no?). i don’t call my employer’s parents mama or papa. i should have straighten this out to her but, lo and behold, my parents said nothing. they seem to be okay with that. but not me! urrgghhhh….

an image of myself scratching my head till it bleeds flashes right in front of my eyes.

quite flaky

cradle cap (we malays call it taik sawan) can drive me up to the wall.

Fateena’s scalp has patches of cradle cap, however they do not bother me much. what bothers me is that i will scrape them off of her with full enthusiasm. my fingers will get into action every time i cradle her for breastfeeds.

it is very harmless to babies; since the flakes just stick to the scalp doing pretty much nothing. a simple remedy to treat it is just to wash her head with shampoo so that those flakes will be moist enough to be brushed off. yes, brushed. very much the opposite of what i am doing. i scrape them dry. i know i am evil.

googled for some treatments and i found that there are some kind of lotion, shampoo and even oil to rid them. *sigh* i can’t be spending anymore. i have been online-shopping for the past month and if i get any of this, just to treat the flakes, hubby will jump on me.

(well, he hasn’t been jumping on me for the past 10 months *warding off evil spirits*)

i guess i will just have to use the baby lotion that we already have.

results will soon be announced!

to get or not?

while i do not have to scout around for baby clothings, because baby can wear those of Fateha’s that are still wearable, there are other things that i have to get. but i am not sure if we have enough or for the fact that both of us like to think what other people do or buy for their babies may not necessarily be what we should get as well.

1) baby cot. which i think many parents will have for their babies, especially the first one. so that when they have extended their family to having 2 or more kids, the baby cot can be reused. for our case, we didn’t get one for Fateha. she didn’t share our bed either. we just put her on a mattress (yea, pathetic, i know) in our room. hubby’s uncle once offered to get us a cot but before i could nod my head and rub my palms in gleeful happiness, hubby said “don’t need one”. i went dead.

somebody, get me this!!!

2) changing table. another thing that we didn’t get for Fateha. at that time, my aunt gave us a super single bed that was once her daughter’s and we put it in Fateha’s room. so all the changing was done there, on that bed. but this time, my mom got us a changing table. finally! a baby furniture in our home. it is still at my mom’s cos we thought we should only bring it back home with us when the date is nearer.

yea, this the one. from IKEA.

3) breast pump and milk bottles. we still have the ones Fateha used. still pretty clean, only a little yellowish. come on, the bottles are as old as Fateha now. how can they still look new?

i am thinking of getting a new one this time because, these things they get worn and torn. and ours have been kept in the dark for 4 years now, i am not sure if they are still good. what if they have gone evil and eat up my boobs? anyway, i have been hearing some say medela’s good.

and there are some who also say tommee tippee is good.

with about 8 more weeks to go, i am not sure if we are actually running late or there is still enough time to get some things ready. nobody can blame me because this is the first time i am anticipating a full term birth, so i am very clueless. well, if only there are some kind souls who do not mind passing us down whatever that have and not using anymore. because, we DO NOT mind.

heheh.