i’ll be back at work come 1st august. after many months being at home with my darling baby, i feel very dreadful. but at the same time i wanna go back to see my students. kinda missed them. a bit.
but this is the face that i really hate to miss. i don’t wanna miss her, at all. not even a single day. once i’m back to work, she’ll be at her babysitter’s place. it was all a-okay for me initially. with a babysitter to care for her while i’m at work. but when we got to visit the babysitter for the first time, for a get-to-know session, i felt terrible.
the babysitter, a 40-something lady, was nice and warm. she welcomed us into her house and we had a good introduction. we told her things about Fateha, her condition and what we were hoping for. she was smiling and giggling. we thought that was a good sign. Fateha will be in a hands of a happy lady. and that is certainly good.
but things started to get really freaky for me when she asked to carry Fateha. fine, i didn’t mind that. i passed Fateha into her arms. and then she started kissing my baby, hugging her tight and caressing her tiny arms and legs. as though Fateha was her own baby. and i was there to adopt. grrrr.
i don’t know. i just don’t like to see other people get too comfortably close to my baby and want her all for themselves. i know that she like baby girls but i don’t like what she’s doing to mine. gosh. but it’s not her fault. she’s awfully nice lady.
i think i’m just a plain crazy mother. my eyes almost popped out of their socket when i heard the babysitter claimed that usually she’d get the children under her care to call her Mama. now i don’t want Fateha to get confused which Mama is her Mama. see, these sorta things are what i’m concerned with.
i’m very very close to Fateha and i’m sure many mothers are close to their babies too. i hope my baby doesn’t get too attached to her “Mama”. and hope that Hubby will pity me and allows me to be a stay-home-mom so i can look after Fateha. and my other future babies. 😛
please, God, help me braced myself to peacefully hand over my baby before i leave for work and have a more peaceful mind while at work.