Posted in Fateha, Fateha's Journey

Don’t let it be just a mere dream

if there’s anything that i AM looking forward to ever so badly, would be…

the day when she starts walking independently, without any kind of physical support. i’m dying to see that moment and bask in the bliss of watching Fateha strutting her tiny apple bums left to right. and definitely, i will not deny this, i feel so green with envy seeing kids younger than Fateha to be walking (or some may be running madly) with his or her mom somewhere nearby.

when will that be me? *sobs*

though i may smile (loosely, with no enthusiasm) at that active little imp, only God knows how my heart bleeds. i have to carry Fateha to and fro, and sometimes my abdomen will be in pain, though not excruciatingly. i hope my history of uterine prolapse will not come back. some ask me why do i still carry her when she can stand and balance herself well while putting on the AFO.

here’s my answer. though she can balance well with the AFO on, her walking is still slow. let’s put it this way: carrying her from the babysitter’s place to the bus stop – 6 minutes. same place but if i have to hold her hand and let her walk – 30  minutes. the bus ride will take another 20 minutes. add another 3o minutes from the time we alight the bus and walk towards our home. this would take only 5 minutes if i carry her back home.

total time taken 1: approximately 31 minutes (if carried)
total time taken 2: approximately 1 hr 20 minutes (if she’s to walk)

that’s why i prefer to carry her to and fro. but of course, at home i let her loose. we get her to stand straight against the wall, taking a step at a time to move forward. though she’s not walking yet, at home, Fateha has shown the side of her that no one really knows. even her teachers have seen it. she likes rough play.

there was once when she climbed up the sofa, bounced herself up for a  bit and nose-dived to the floor. no, she didn’t slip and fall. she did that on purpose. actually, there was a pillow and she intended to land on it. but she miscalculated her dive. LOL!

in school, a lot of interventions are done just for Fateha. her teachers are singing praises of her good improvements and that she being highly cooperative. something that’s very new for me. the team of teachers and therapists are doing a lot in order to get her improve faster. but i know for a fact, this CANNOT happen within a short period of time.

i just want to be like other mothers. fetching her from the babysitter’s and bring her to a shop, get some candies or muffin, up the bus and enjoy the ride, watching other cars zooming by.



a wife, a mother, an anxious-for-no-reason person and a pure lazy bum.

2 thoughts on “Don’t let it be just a mere dream

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