soon i will be back at work and i am dreading the day it comes. partly because of separation anxiety that i foresee will happen, not to the baby but to me. and also because i am worried if my milk supply will deplete. i have been eating well, expressing and storing my milk, and even taking supplements to boost the production. i hope it continues and yes, i will be pumping them at work. got all my storage bags and cooler bag ready for my return to the working life. momma’s gotta do what a momma’s gotta do.
anyway, we have also been trying to bottle feed her but it was disastrous. she refuses to suckle from the rubber teat. although i must say that i feel so honoured and touched because it only means one thing. she prefers mine! *chuckles* if hubby tries to feed her, she wails and screams, and will throw out the milk that has flowed in her mouth. not even a gulp. at least, she still drinks a little if i feed her from the bottle. however it will be a battle between us. me, insisting she feeds from it and she, pushing the teat out of her mouth with her tongue. occasionally taking a gulp or two. she does this till i give up and offers her mine. it’s a win-lose situation.
then there was one night, where i was putting Fateha to bed, i told my helper to prepare the formula if Fateena woke up. i shut the door and lied down on the bed with Fateha. 45 minutes later, i walked out of the room to check out the situation outside. shocked as i could be, i saw an empty milk bottle on the table and my helper was patting Fateena. she drank the milk till the very last drop without even yelping.
i felt threatened. had she begun to prefer the helper instead of me, or even hubby? and there were a few more occasions where she finished the milk if the helper fed her. i had to observe her drinking pattern because, really, i felt she was challenging me.
last night when hubby and i spoke of this, i realised something. it’s not that a big deal, actually. and just like her name, she is indeed intelligent. here is what i observed and concluded from those episodes of bottle-feeding struggles:
1) she refuses to be fed by hubby because he rarely feeds her. she is not used to him trying to make her drink and so she cries.
2) she refuses me giving her the bottle because she knows i can breastfeed her and that she will get only the best. and partly because i always give up with the bottle and shoved mine into her tiny mouth. she loves it! (i think my scent plays a huge role too.)
3) she only feeds and finishes the milk if given by the helper because…no breast milk and no mommy-scent. LOL!
and so, with these challenges identified and solved, we will all live happily ever after.