leaving the kids
16 weeks go by so fast!
that is how much she has changed and developed throughout my 16 weeks (80 working days) maternity leave. i will be back at work in 2 days! did i have enough rest? hah, what do you think my answer will be? just like my first maternity leave with Fateha, i am having a hard time preparing myself to be the economy slave. why do mothers have to go through this?
i have a number of stay-at-home-mom friends and i cannot deny how i turn green with envy towards them. they have all the time they can spend with their little ones and see them grow right in front of their eyes. no, you can’t say “but you are helping your husband to earn more income for the family.” because i already know that. what income is more important than a mother get to be by her children’s side 24 hours? money is important, i agree. but i am losing out in one area that matters the most. and it’s crucial.
at work, i see other children developing and progressing well. help them with whatever skill they lack. informing parents that it is important for them to be with their children, giving them more of their attention instead of the ipads and iphones. enjoy the cuddles and hugs that i get from these kids, and cheer for them when they achieve something.
it’s a little contradicting; when i tell my students’ parents to spend more time with their kids, i am actually doing the same thing they do. i leave my kids to the care of our helper (which is not very ideal, to me) so that i earn more money. and with this, i will pay for their education, their medical check ups, doctor visits, buy new clothes, new shoes and go on a holiday.
but i cannot buy back the time i have lost with them. sacrifice, you say? let me ask you. are you willing to sacrifice their love, attention and respect for you just so you can work and earn money? sacrifice the opportunity of watching them grow into the persons you want them to be?
maybe there are parents, especially mothers, who do not mind this but not me. i can’t! being in early childhood line is making it worse! all these sufferings mothers have to go through, i only blame you know who. here in Singapore, almost everyone blames the “G” for what they have to go through. and i cannot agree more.
the only thing that i have been trying (and sometimes dream about) is to encourage my husband to get a much much better paid career so that we do not need to employ a helper and i can stay at home. or… if he gets that job offer his friend referred him to, there is a chance for him to work overseas. which only means that our whole family will fly there, too. i am so hoping and praying it will come true for me, i mean for us.
just for a better future for my kids.