(damn the lazy bones and nerves in me!)
it has been 13 days since she added another year to her age. i feel proud and grateful for her. putting her setbacks aside, my little preemie has proved me wrong (and other times, right) that there are things that she can do on her own as well as determined to do them by herself.
her walking without support is improving well, although it is progressing rather slowly. but hey, i am not complaining. instead, i am glad. i finally get to feel how normal parents are feeling – walking behind their children, without the need to hold their hands and getting them to lead the way. Fateha refuses to let me hold her hand and walk together with her. she doesn’t want me to hang on to her. masya Allah, i remembered waiting for this day to come, 4 years ago, and thought that it never would. now it seems like i wasn’t waiting for it that long. alhamdulillah!
all i ever have to do now is just to watch out for her, in case she falls. oh yes, she is prone to falls. and i just cannot do anything to her tip-toeing and i am out of my wits, trying to get her to put her feet down. we have tried positive reinforcements; giving her praises when she was working hard to walk with her feet flat on the ground. talking it out with her worked for a while and then it went back to square one. but i cannot blame her, can i?
i am the kind of person who will fall back to the diagnosis and accepting the fact that it is like that. so i tell myself why she walks that way every time i fail at getting her to do it properly. and i am still trying to explain to others why she walks on her tippy toes. it gets very tiring when people just do not want to understand her condition and our situation. very tiring!
in 2 months time, she will be getting her Botox treatment to reduce the tension and hypertonia in her calve muscles. her treatment is scheduled for only her bad leg, that is her left calve. but hubby is thinking of asking the doctor to do it for both. i know, some would say, “ohh poor thing, can’t you just let her be and not doing it? it is so painful.”
i know that some are concern and pity Fateha that she has to go through all these. firstly, she is not like any other normal kids. she requires a lot of help and support from family as well as community. secondly, it is because we want the best for her and we are thinking about her future, which is why we are willing to go through these tough times. we just want her to be as normal as she can be. she does not need to be perfect like other kids because she is perfect in her own ways.
i am praying and hoping for the best. nothing beats than to see my preemie being independent.