Under the Knives part deux

3 years ago, when Fateha had her tendon transfer on her Erb’s shoulder, we thought that it would be the last surgery she would have to go through. and me, overnight-ing in the hospital with her. lo and behold, we had to do it again this year but this time, it was to lengthen her contracted biceps.

last thursday, all jittery, i accompanied Fateha into the surgery preparatory room.

that was where she had to change into her operation garment and anesthetic lotion was plastered onto her back hand; you know, just in case she needed an IV line. we were attended by a young Malay male nurse, who was very kind and friendly towards Fateha. he asked her questions so lovingly, like an elder brother to his youngest sister. it made me more relaxed and kind of looking forward to this procedure. once the paperwork were all done, a nurse from the operating theater (OT) came to us with a wheel chair and wheeled Fateha to the OT at the Main Building.

aaahhh, old memories began to seep in as soon as we stepped into the waiting room in the OT.

this time, hubby had to come in to the waiting room too. the anesthetist had to discuss with both of us the risk that we would be facing, should we decided to continue with the surgery. you see, Fateha was having a bad cough, with a little phlegm. so we were warned that she might develop inflammation in her throat and the cough would worsen. we decided to go ahead with it.

and then, we played the waiting game. it was horrible, to sit in the waiting room for more than an hour with a super hungry child. she kept asking for bread, rice, water… she couldn’t understand why she was needed to fast before the surgery, no matter how much i tried explaining. i didn’t blame her.

then a doctor came to us, with a camera in his hands, ready to shoot Fateha’s to-be-operated arm. i tell you, whatever the doc said or asked her to do, she gave him absolutely no answer. all she did was to turn to me and asked for water and rice. i had to turn her down again. and when the doc heard Fateha whining and begging me for food, he promised her chocolate after the surgery was over.

and then she cooperated for a while. after 3 to 4 snaps, we were good to go. for the surgery!

this surgery, similar to the first one, was 2 hours long. thank goodness for the constant technology advancement, in the visitor’s lounge where we were all waiting, there was a screen with the patient’s code and which room the patient was in; operation room or recovery room. our eyes kept looking at the screen, just to check out the progress of the surgery.

after 2 hours, we saw Fateha’s code had changed to recovery room. i was anxious! told our helper to get all the bags ready and within a few minutes, my phone rang. it was the OT, calling me to come over.

right there, in the same recovery room as it had been for the first one, Fateha was still sleeping with oxygen on. i almost burst into tears but i kept my cool. so i called hubby to come in to look at her, while i wait outside. yea, only one next-of-kin allowed. in about less than 5 minutes, hubby came out and called me to come in because Fateha was waking up. the nurse was removing the gas mask from her face and turned off her probes that tracked her vital organs. when she opened her eyes and saw me, the first thing she asked was, “Ibu, i want rice…” and dozed off. my poor, hungry baby!

i was asked to observe her and see if she was doing okay before we wheeled her into the general ward; the same ward and room that we had gotten before. her surgeons came in the evening and explained what they had done to her biceps and nerves, of which was not my area of expertise and i didn’t quite understand. all those medical terminology. Prof Aymeric seemed happy with the operation and kept saying how well behaved Fateha was. awwww, who were her parents again?? :p

Prof also showed me a photo of the surgery, which of course was printed just for us.

i was eager to see this, so that i would understand exactly how it had been done. so now i could tell which ones were her nerves. it was like reading How My Body Works book, with the exposed flesh and bones. i was seeing my own flesh and blood’s flesh and blood!

good thing was, she didn’t have to have a long stay in the hospital. i only brought 1 extra top for myself and if she were to have a few days more, i would have to get someone to get me some clothes. and, the foldable bed that the hospital had for parents who were staying to accompany their kids, was uncomfortable. but hey, it was better than my previous experience, where i had to share Fateha’s bed.

oh i forgot to mention. Fateha got her promised box of chocolate from the doctor who was a part of the surgery team. he was a nice man; came to see Fateha the next morning at almost 6am, just to give her the gift and to tell us that we could go home. luckily, i was already awake, showered and freshened up. Fateha was awake too and the doctor was shocked to see both of us chatting when he came. while other parents and kids, in the room, were still so sound asleep, complete with rhythmic snores.

doc: oh you’re up so early!
me: yea, we are morning people :)) (really, i no lie)
doc: aahh that’s good. anyway, here is your chocolate. you are such a good girl.
me: *smiling*
doc: anyway, she is alright, so she can be discharged today. Prof Aymeric will see you guys again later.
me: okay, thanks doc!

it was such a good start to my early morning because everything had fallen into its place for me. hubby decided to take child care leave so that he could bring us back home. my parents took half day leave so that they would be around when we came back (we went back to my parents’ because it was very near to the hospital). everything just went well for us after that.

tomorrow, we will be going back to the hospital for a review. let’s see how the wound is recovering.

The Sum of 2013… (the last bits only)

if i were to talk about the adventures i had in 2013, i would need a year to do that. so i am only going to touch on the last bits that i did the previous year (that sounded as though it was long ago, ain’t it?). anyway…

we had three rounds of celebrating the little girl’s first birthday and another round will be this Sunday. ain’t she lucky? we did the same with her big sister 6 years ago (till now) because it was just so hard to do it once and for all when you have a big family.

the second time was together with my aunt, whose birthday was 2 days after Fateena’s. one of my cousins would have joined in as well, if he was around, because his birthday was 2 days after my aunt’s. our December “babies” have nice dates; they’re all even and 2 days apart from each other. Fateena – 20 Dec, Aunt – 22 Dec and Cousin – 24 Dec. we should plan for a birthday get together next December!

we had good food, of course! all home-cooked and prepared by another aunt, the eldest among my dad’s siblings. there were spicy fried noodles of 2 kinds, jeneket (Jenny Cake), KFC’s popcorn chicken (not home-cooked, of course) and of course, the birthday cake from Secret Recipe sponsored by the birthday lady.

and the third one was with my in-laws.

we had lunch together at a halal Thai restaurant – Jai Siam, at Dhoby Ghaut Xchange. the lunch was on my in-laws but the cake was on us. and because Fateha’s birthday was nearing, we added her name onto the cake. the cake that we had forgotten to take a photo of. it was a small chocolate cake of Tom & Jerry. because it was the only cake with the characters that suited these girls. Fateha being Tom and Fateena, Jerry. it was just them, except that they were females.

one last bit of 2013 that i absolutely love the most is definitely got to be this.

on the eve of new year’s eve, a small parcel was delivered to our home; late at night after i sent Fateha to bed. i asked hubby what that was and he said it was his. he ordered something from Qoo10. i gotta say that both of us are addicted to online shopping at Qoo10. we have been purchasing stuff one after another, be it for the home, the girls, birthday gifts for others and even for ourselves. i gotta stop this addiction – NOT!

the parcel was on the table so hubby asked me to get it for him. and then he told me to open it. wha-? why would he ask me to rip off the plastic wrapper? unless it was for me. and indeed, he said it WAS for me!! awww, it was a sweet surprise from him, who just kept a straight face. without even a smile or that loving, romantic look after seeing that i melted from his sweet gesture. that, everyone, is my husband.

after ripping off the wrapper, this was what i saw.

it was the awesomest gift he gotten for me. like, finally!!! something that i could feel good about when using. not that i didn’t like all the gifts i got from him. but this one, went on top of the charts like instantly. the smell, as the name suggested, was indeed seductive. i fell in love with this almost immediately. aaaahhhh, thank you husband!

but, hey, it wasn’t my birthday. and no, it wasn’t a Christmas thingy cos we didn’t celebrate. nonchalantly he said he got it for me just because. no reason behind it. but he did joke a little and said he had too much money! hahaha. yes, that, i already knew.

the following day, he sent me to work cos we planned to have breakfast together. while we were getting ready that morning, i thought of spraying just a bit of that beautiful and seductive eau de toilette. i asked him if i smelled good and he only said, “hmm.” as in agreeing with me “hmm”, not that “mmm” of  inhaling the sensational smell. my husband.

i need to get him to a crash course of how to express himself. or maybe i should do it myself. after learning the theory, he could definitely and absolutely apply the practical with me, which would be very beneficial for us.

it has been a joyful, tearful, jerk-full, stupid fool and bloody fool 2013. would i ask for more? no, no more of 2013 cos we are already in 2014. new year has begun and i hope to get that good news that i have been hoping for. my new year’s resolution?

just to be myself.

HAPPY 2014, people!

the one who is One

she turned one two days ago. and since daddy was on his off day, we brought the birthday girl, and her sister, to an ice-cream treat at Swensen’s.

 

we’ve never really let her eat ice-cream before; just a few licks were all she had. but 2 days ago, we gave it a go and fed her some small, itty bitty scoop of the dessert.

and instead of swallowing, she spat it out and let it sloppily slipped off her mouth. and dirtied her onesie. aaahhh, i had zero tolerance for kids dirtying their clothes. but because we were in the public, i shrieked a lot lesser and cleaned up the dirty spot like nothing happened. and like a good mom should. hahah!

the rest of us ate a big bowl of 8 scoops of ice-cream like there was no tomorrow. i wondered whose birthday we were treating for. lol. surprisingly, i couldn’t help them to finish it up. i left them to finish the eating job.

happy 1st birthday to my little BamBam.

 

 

p/s: sorry. i just can’t produce enough words for this post. because we’re off to celebrate her birthday, again! but this time it will be together with her grand aunt, who turns XX today. wait for it in my next post. more words and lengthy, i pwomise.

purple people

from lilac to violet, plum to mulberry, mauve to rhubarb. we all were donning purple of all shades today.

all for one little ex micro preemie, whom once we thought would never make it.

Fateha’s colour was more of a raisin purple, while the littler one wore lilac. cos lilac suits babies. awww 😀

thank you everyone for supporting this cause and wore purple to commemorate World Prematurity Day for Fateha, and all of the millions micro preemie, born too early, in this world. we also have to remember those preemies who have departed to be with the Almighty.

Go Purple

some of my friends and relatives are going purple tomorrow. all in the hopes to create awareness in the society of the severity of being prematurely born. and because Fateha is one of those strong, miracle preemies, i will go purple!

prematurity is serious. life can be so fragile. i remember being in the neonates, sitting next to the incubator everyday, praying that Fateha’s life would be extended so i could visit her and bring her home one day. i was there for her, every single day, because all i could think of was her. my priority was her. my own personal life, personal needs and wants were no longer important. i couldn’t concentrate at work; thinking about my little preemie’s being. because giving birth to a 26 weeker who weighed only 825grams was no joke.

how was she? was the doctor doing everything he could to make her survive the ordeal? were there any new upsets? were there anymore brain scans? did the ophthalmologist find her vision worsening, or did it improve? how was her intra ventricular hemorrhage,? did it get any better? there were so many questions flooding my every brain capacity.

there were many times when i felt like quitting my job and just stay in the neonates to look after my baby. many times! but i know, we couldn’t afford it, for the hospital bill was mounting. so i would rush to the hospital in a cab right after work; with bottles of frozen expressed breast milk in a small red cooler bag. and i stayed there for at least 4 hours before someone came to visit Fateha and fetch me home.

while i was there, many new things i learnt; from doctors to nurses and the occupational therapists. her condition was improving, she was maintaining her breathing, her Retinopathy of Prematurity (a disorganized growth of retinal blood vessels, and in serious cases, can cause blindness) improved, and she was feeding well which resulted in healthy weight gaining.

every preemie parent dreads going to the neonates to only hear things are not going so well. i watched many other preemies in the neonates going home happily with their proud parents but Fateha was still staying. no news of homecoming. each time i asked, the neonates staff would say, “don’t worry, she will go home once she is ready.”

the nurses there were the loveliest! some gave me advice, some tips on how to look out for this sign and that sign. hey, they even let me change the diapers from inside the incubator! that made me happy. i know, other moms would say “hah! changing diapers only, what’s the big deal?”

oh boy, it was a HUGE deal especially when your baby was a preemie and was all wired up. a little rough movement would trigger the alarm. oh how i hated those beeping noise makers! they always gave me a scare each time they beeped when i touched my baby. and carried her for the first time, 3 months after her birth, was heaven.

the memories of carrying her, we had to put on plastic aprons! like those butchers in the market, really!!! the reason why it took us 3 months to carry her (while other preemie moms in the US were able to do this much earlier) not because i was scared or nervous. it was because, there was a nurse who didn’t have the confidence to allow me to take Fateha out of the incubator. never mind.

we were more than happy when she got transferred into a high-dependency room; there was a bug going on in the main room (if i remembered correctly) hence the transfer. what we liked about it was because of the privacy that we had, although the room was small. soon after, she was all ready to graduate without the need to bring any oxygen supply home.

looking back at almost 6 years ago; the dark days that we went through, the nights that we spent crying and worrying, they are all bitter but definitely sweet memories. we thank everyone who have given Fateha the support that she needs, the caring hearts that prayed for her well being and also to those who looked at Fateha with nothing but complete ignorance. you have all been great!

so to show that you actually care (i know you do), you can wear purple to raise awareness of prematurity, tomorrow.

and i shall leave you with my favourite song, NICU At Night.