Throughout my breastfeeding (BF) journey with my kids, never have I encountered the scariest people who call themselves breastfeeding advocates. They are the badass breastfeeding moms (BaBFM).
I thought joining a facebook group for BF moms would deepen my knowledge further as I was exclusively feeding my baby with breastmilk. While I am not denying that there are some instances where I learned something new, there are also moments where I was inflamed with anger.
Quite a number of them kept on and on and on with “feed the baby not the freezer”. Yea yea, I know! Tsk! You want to advocate and be the voice for some cause, you need to be looking in many perspectives. Just by using your own practices to give advice, especially for first time moms (FTM), will not really help them. If you are really equipped with all the knowledge in this world, surely you’ll understand the challenges that FTM are facing. I’ll write a scenario that got me on fire!
FTM: Hi all, my baby is 3 days old and I noticed that no milk is building up. I tried pumping and I only get a few drops. My baby is crying all the time. I’m so helpless.
BaBFM: No no no! You must not pump. Just keep latching the baby to your breasts! Latch latch latch!
FTM: But I don’t know how to latch my baby properly and he won’t suck. I have to pump. Is there a way to increase my milk?
BaBF:M Why are you pumping? You shouldn’t be doing that. Go and get a lactation consultant! Babies are the best at stimulating and building up your milk. Watch your baby for feeding cues and not to pump. Establish feeding with your baby.
FTM: ok ☹️
See? This is not the way to educate new moms on how to breastfeed successfully. Guide them nicely and show them support instead of telling them what they’ve been doing wrongly. What I’ve found out is that, these BaBFMs are stay at home moms who can afford the time to only latch and not pumping. These moms will NEVER understand the pains and struggles of working moms who have to lug around big bags with breastpumps, whose sole intention is to feed their babies with breastmilk.
And don’t get me started with the Just Enough Moms (JEMs). Yes, this is another lot who are equally annoying.
At the end of the day, baby is still fed no matter what the method is. So to all FTMs I know, do not let these monsters pull you down. Do what you know is best for yourself and baby.
And go watch CloudMom on youtube. She is such an inspiration to me.
much to my horror, something that i foresee before I got back into the working life, my milk supply has gone down. yes, you guys, it is not that much now. i have been pumping, eating good food, together with some supplements. you know…
mother’s milk lactation tea, fenugreek, anmum lacta…just to name a few.
it could be the fact that i am being warped with an ultra busy schedule. i only have 2 free periods (which are utilised with paper work); once in the morning and once in the afternoon, right after lunch. during the morning period, i try to finish up whatever work i have for the day and the afternoon one, i will pump diligently with the hopes that i get at least an ounce more. so on a no-night-class days (tuesdays & thursdays), i pump only once since i can be home early and breastfeed directly. on every other day, i doubled the pumping routine. while my lecturer talks, i pump. well…not the whole 3 hours, of course! weekends are exclusively for breastfeeding.
life is hard, for working moms. especially the nursing ones. no need to mention my envy towards stay-at-home moms; it’s over the top. but i also envy moms who have a desk bound job. while they are busy typing or answering the phone calls, they can pump. now, how can i do that at work? i’m a preschool teacher, remember? haha, no no! no pumping in front of the kids. not that i do not want, it will affect the quality of my teaching and care.
😦 but it definitely affects the quality of my nursing and caring for my baby. and this is another factor that leads to our reduction. ASSIGNMENTS! pretty stressful for me and it’s NOT GOOD!!!
i search for many tips and helps from many sources and most of them say to pump consistently. and recently, someone told me to get these…
i was told that many other nursing moms who take this see a great increased in their supply. and i am definitely thinking of getting them. i will do anything to get my liquid gold back before it gets totally “abducted” for good.
p/s: anymore helps and tips from you? i sure need them. thanks.
this is the.
this is the cheeky girl.
this is the cheeky girl who impresses me.
this is the cheeky girl who impresses me with her antics.
did you get irritated? i thought of writing in a new way because i hate it when i get a writer’s block when there are so many things i wanna write about. wherever i go, my camera will be just a grab away. i’ll snap anything i can and check ’em out if i can come up with an entry. honestly, i get envious reading blog entries that are so well written. i like funny ones and those about families and kids.
i get inspired by bloggers who blog about their kids especially with preemies or special needs darlings. but i think my biggest inspiration would be my very own preemie. i enjoy watching her strong will, pushing herself to do some tasks.
remember me potty training her? so far it has been a great success whenever she is at home. she knows that she needs to pee or poo in the toilet. she calls for either me or hubby. i dare say that she is getting so good at this. the only thing we’re still scared to try is diaper-free day out.
BUT, i tried letting her be without diaper yesterday when we were out to visit my grandma. kept reminding her that she would not be wearing one and she mustn’t pee in the car. every few minutes i’d be asking if she was ok. and most of the time she’d be answering me with a nod. fine.
so the whole day went by with Fateha staying dry all the way. YIPPEEE!!! i rewarded her with two dollars.
not just that. recently, she has been showing eagerness to put on her own clothes. though it is difficult for her to put her Erb’s arm through the sleeve, she does not give up. i’d say her perseverance threshold is quite high. her left arm will help to pull it out. i feel like crying! someone, get me a kleenex! *wipes tears*
other chores in the process:
2) putting on/removing pants
3) putting on/removing shoes
4) all the above with her Erb’s arm
from the pictures above, i think you can guess how she powders herself after a bath. LOL! i’ll always end up laughing hysterically.
It’s good to have a grandfather who turns out to be a masseuse. This little girl is sucha lucky star; receiving this every 2 weeks.
here’s a video of her walking towards her little chair to remove her shoes.
it took her 10 minutes to finally be done with removing her shoes. that includes putting ’em on the rack. she used to take hours (literally) to remove one side.
recently i trained her to come in on her own and walk towards her small chair and the shoe rack. she’s doing pretty good. she was a little scared at first, but seeing that i won’t step in to help her, she took her first move. and then more.
being in the education sector where i…educate (duh!) preschoolers, occasionally i get annoyed or upset when i have students who can’t read simple sight words or worst still, the letters of the alphabet. when this thing happens, i blame the parents! most teachers do too. really.
so not wanting myself and Fateha to be caught in the same situation, i have started training her recently. at 3 (and turning 4 in about 2 months), i think i’m slightly late in exposing her in simple penmanship and recognizing letters. yes. i admit that! i have been too busy educating others’ kids. *shakes head in disbelief*
messy, yes! but i think it’s a good start. anyway, this was how i started my first penmanship *blush*. oh yea, to parents of kids who are between 3-4 years old and have not started training your kids, simple lines and strokes are the best for starters. and then moving on to complex ones like curls and swirls once your kids get better. then lower case letters. then upper case letters. then words. then sentences. oh well, you should know that already.
she’s quite good in rote counting from 1-10; occasionally adding 14 in between because we live on the 14th floor. yes, really. her ABCs too, jumbled up somewhere. i’m quite ashamed to call myself a preschool teacher because of the constant neglect i have when it comes to teach her. i’ve bought flash cards of numbers and alphabet but have not the time to sit down with her and work on her recognition.
if you think it’s still too early, i say no. it’s easier to teach a child in his/her first 5 years ’cause they’ll absorb faster. and seeing Fateha beginning to recognise some colors (esp blue because Thomas the Tank Engine is blue) i know that it’s not gonna be SO tough to work her brain.
but the time i have at home is usually spent by resting! teaching during the day is a very tiring thing and can do serious damage if it continues till at night. (that’s just my own theory) when at home, i just wanna rest and relax and spend time with her playing and watching Thomas. ’cause that’s her current obsession. sometimes she asks for Barney.
oh well, i’ll let Barney do the teaching.
i am trying my level best to get her developments working normally. though it’s not very easy but it’s definitely not impossible to do.
and as a preschool educator that i am, rewarding my kids is always a practice. be it with a chop from a self-inking stamp or a much needed praise, they WILL get it when they really deserve it.
i thought to myself for a long time. why am i not practicing what i do daily at work, at home? after all, i’m nurturing and educating little people and Fateha shouldn’t be excluded. so i decide to reward her for every good deed or performing her daily routines well.
you see, in my classroom (in a personal storage) i own a box (the kind we get when we buy rims of A4 paper) billions of stickers. some in booklet form and others are…the loose kinds. some of them were bought at the monthly pasar malam because they were damn cheap. and others were given to me by darling students. yes! teacher gets rewarded by kids too.
i made a booklet specially for rewarding her in areas that she BADLY needs to improve:~
– walking without tiptoeing
– standing without support (for 10 seconds)
– finish up food/meal
– talking nicely without screaming
– listening to ayah and ibu (err…parents)
and everyday ever since i prepared the book, she has been very excited in getting the stickers for the parts that she has done well. and everytime she walks with a tiptoe, i’ll go “see you’re tiptoeing again…i’m not going to give a sticker for that!” to my surprise it really worked on her.
i’m trying not to give her rewards daily. but sometimes, like all mothers do, i feel so bad and will anyhow stick one for her.